Why is it so Difficult to Change?

Change can be a difficult and challenging experience. We hear people say how hard it is. We tell ourselves what a struggle it is and we end up believing it. However, it is something we desire and strive to achieve.  We have all experienced a desire to change, whether it is developing a new skill, giving up what we feel is a bad habit or making a big life. Internally we will need to adapt to a new reality in our lives. We will need to focus on our thoughts, feelings, behaviours and emotions. If we initiate it ourselves, we will have had time to plan and think about it, but if it happens quickly or unexpectedly, we will need time to adapt. This process can take much longer.

Life would be so easy if this switch could happen in an instant.  It would be great if we woke up one morning and decided we were going to do a certain thing in our lives in a different way. If only it was as simple as that.  There are many reasons why change is so difficult. Let’s take a look at some of these reasons.

Uncertainty

We may not be ready or even want to change. Often we feel comfortable and secure with the way we are.  We may have that scared feeling of the unknown and what it holds for us. Maybe our old patterns remain strong and deep-rooted within us making it more difficult for a new behaviour to occur.  People tend to spend long periods in their lives living in a certain way without changing in any way. It is important not to underestimate the importance of preparing ourselves for this new attitude.

Fear

Many of us actually fear change. We may not truly believe so much the benefits that it will bring to us. A different and new way of living causes uncertainty, anxiety and stress. It can create a feeling of being pushed out of our comfort zone. Others looking in may see how much better life could be for us but we may not be convinced. This uncertainty may make it more difficult to convince ourselves to take action and put the work in for ourselves.

Taking On Too Much

We may decide to take on too many changes at once.  A better outcome will unfold when we start small. Instead of saying  “ I am going to start exercising “ maybe start by saying “ I am going to do a thirty-minute walk every day and build this up over time “. This will take the pressure off us and make our challenges more sustainable. It can be helpful to focus on one goal at a time.  If we fail in one of our planned goals this may result in us abandoning our other challenges as well.

.  Impatience

We may become impatient.  If we don’t see results quickly in our journey towards change we won’t keep up our motivation.  If we become unmotivated we will give up too quickly resulting in frustration and disappointment. After all, failure is a part of life. We can become trapped in a cycle of negative thinking. If we fail we may automatically think we can’t actually succeed.  It is ok to slip up and get back on track again.  It can be a good idea to prepare for these inevitable slip-ups because they are an important part of the process of this fresh way of thinking or doing things.

There and many benefits associated with change. Even though we may avoid or resist, it will become part of our lives anyway. It takes courage to let go of the familiar and embrace a new life attitude. We tend to focus more on the difficulties of adapting and adjusting to this unused reality and we overlook its benefits…

• Personal Growth

We learn and grow every time we alternate something in our lives whether it was planned or unplanned.  We learn lessons even if some events lead us to somewhere we hadn’t planned.

• Inner Strenght

We become more resilient. Unfortunately, some changes lead to difficult chapters in our lives but coming through tough life challenges will eventually make us stronger.

• Better Quality of Life

When we make improvements in our lives, for example with our career, health or finances we become more content in ourselves having achieved our goal.  Without change, there would be no improvement in the quality of our lives. It is actually much easier to embrace it rather than fight it.

• Opportunity

We never know what a new perspective of things may bring. We can explore different opportunities along the way enabling us to empower ourselves with different choices. This will result in fulfilment, success and happiness.  

The majority of people automatically think that change will have a negative impact on their lives.  It can be difficult for us to see that it is a good thing. It will help us move forward in life and enable us to have new and exciting life experiences.  When we become open to shifting the way we think or behave we may learn new skills which can bring about positive effects we never knew were possible.  It will enable us to focus and become the person we want to be.

There are though external changes that we simply cannot control. Whether we feel that those changes were good or bad at the time, they will teach us something. We may say to ourselves that we like being in our safe place, but we need to bear in mind that at some stage it is inevitable to leave it behind in order to grow and evolve. If you are reading this article and feel you need to change, there is no secret recipe that will highlight your path for you. It is your own unique journey so why not listen to your heart and take that first step. Your gut intuition will guide you along the way.